Sanity's Requium
by BLUEjelloxx
Summary: What would happen if Lily and James survived that night at Godric's Hallow? Would the war end with the loss of Voldemort or would the troops have rallied without him? What would be the state of the Wizarding World?


**Fair warning, I'm very American. So if I don't talk like a British person that's why. But I'll give it a shot.**

**There are a lot of James and Lily survive stories, but most go straight to Harry's Hogwarts years. I'm writing a JAMES AND LILY story. So we're going to stick to the immediate after effects, at least at first. I might be convinced to continue if this gets a decent response. There are two ways I'm considering taking this.**

**Jily has been my OTP since long before I even knew what an OTP was, so I hope I do them justice. Let me know what you think, if you think that I should continue.**

**Obviously this is AU, and obviously I don't own Harry Potter.**

October 31, 1980

_Lily Potter_

The night was bitterly cold. She knew it just by looking through the window, an invisible spectator keeping watch over the unsuspecting Muggles that also called Godric's Hallow their home. Children walked through the streets dressed as witches and goblins and gouls. They thought that it was all make believe, but it wasn't. What Muggles referred to as the paranormal was all around them, all the time.

It almost felt wrong being there. Yes, Godric's Hallow was traditionally a wizarding village, dating back centuries. But the Muggles lived their too. It was their home, and it was at risk simply because her small family took up residence within its quaint streets and cobblestone ally ways.

She leaned against the wall, suddenly exhausted. She was 21; far to young to have had to deal with all of the horrors that she faced on a daily basis. She had dodged the sinister spellwork of grown men, determined to torture her simply because of her lineage. She had studied long and hard since she was 11 years old just to prove herself worthy of the thin stick that rested in her pocket. And she had lost more friends... more family... than she could even count anymore.

No more. It didn't matter what went on in the outside world. What mattered were the happenings in their cozy little cottage. Because as long as James and Harry were safe nothing else really mattered.

"Lil?"

She forced a happy smile on her face as she walked into the living room, but she didn't have to fake it for long. Her husband was leaning over their son, shooting blue smoke at him with his wand. Harry squealed in laughter, trying to catch the elusive smoke with his fat, baby hands. But when the smoke just glided between his fingers he looked confused and upset. "Go bye bye?"

James just looked at her for a moment before shooting some more smoke at Harry. "Time for bed, munchkin."

"No," Harry whined, but he didn't sound all that upset.

"Tough luck, kid," James chuckled. He looked back up at her, something unfathomable in his eyes. "I'll be right back."

She knew he could tell that she was upset. James was more intuitive than he was given credit for. He could pick out whatever she was feeling with ease. Except right now she didn't even know what she was feeling, so how could he know?

She didn't hear him come back so when he was suddenly in her line of sight she jumped. All she was was the worry in his eyes, and she didn't like that. They had enough to worry about. He didn't need to spend time comforting her.

"What's wrong, Lily?" He pulled her into his solid arms. "I know everything is awful right now, but it won't be forever. And-"

She wanted to reassure him that she was fine. She wanted to tell him not to worry about her, to keep focused on making their family safe. But she couldn't. She didn't have time because someone tripped the wards surrounding their house. A quiet alarm sounded throughout every room.

James pulled away with a jerk, his fingers in a vice grip around her shoulders. "Go."

Was he kidding? He had to be kidding. She reached for her wand with trembling fingers. But James leaned down capturing her lips with his. It felt wonderful, magical- like it always did with him. But then it felt desperate, sad... like a goodbye. She would never say goodbye to him. She _couldn't. "James," _she whispered breaking the kiss first. "Let's just go. We can still get out."

He looked at her as he contemplated a response, but he was cut off by an explosion from the front door. All at once he leapt into action. He shoved her toward the stairs. "Go Lily! Take Harry and Go! Go, run, I'll hold him off."

She snagged at the rail, the only thing that kept her on her feet and stared at her husband. How could she have ever thought him to be arrogant? He was a big pig headed throughout their formative years, but even then he showed signs of being the most selfless man to walk to planet. Even now, as he ran head first into what very well may be his final battle, she was sure that his only thoughts were of her and Harry.

_Harry. _Their son laying upstairs was the only thing that could convince her to tear herself away from James right now. Because, she mused as she took the stairs two at a time, it wasn't just about her family anymore. If the prophecy that Dumbledore had shared with them had any teeth, Harry could very well be the one to save them all.

She could hear the fighting downstairs: the whoosh of spells, thumps as things fell from the shelves, angry words... but she couldn't focus on that right now. Because if she thought of James alone, possibly facing Voldemort himself, she would turn around right now. But she couldn't. She had to get to Harry.

She had her hand on the door knob when she heard it, the two words that would change her entire life.

_Avada Kedavra!_

She staggered to the ground, still holding onto the knob to remind herself that she had to go forward. She had to continue. But God, _James. **James. **_She thought they'd have forever. She wasted so much time being horrible to him... And now he was gone. And consequentially she was too. Because home wasn't necessarily a place. Home was where you felt safe... where you felt loved and cared for. James was her home, and she couldn't go home ever again.

Harry's cries were the only thing that could keep her moving. Because how was she supposed to live in a world without James? His gentle touches that could wipe away every insecurity, his self-deprecating sense of humor that could make her laugh in the worst of times, the way he ruffled his stupid hair on top of his stupid head. How was she supposed to get by without all of that?

But as soon as she saw Harry she realized that she probably wouldn't have to. Because surely he was the reason that her house was being ransacked? Surely they were after her son. Apparating wasn't possible from within the house, and since James was- he wasn't able to stop them they'd be up here in seconds. She was going to die in this house with James, and it was oddly a comforting thought. Because she didn't want to live in a world without him. All she had to do was buy help enough time to get to them. The order would have been notified the second their house was forcibly entered in to via some complicated spellwork. Help would be coming.

She turned to her son, her lips getting lost in his unruly hair; so much like his father's. "Oh Harry. Harry, you are so loved. So loved. Momma loves you. Daddy loves you. And hopefully one day Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus will be up to telling you our story."

Tears flowed down her face as she heard footsteps on the stairs. She had so much to tell him, and only a little bit of time. "But don't believe them when they tell you how much I hated you dad," she laughed breathlessly. "Because I think I always loved that idiot. I just couldn't admit it to myself. That's right, your dad was an idiot. But he was also the best man I've ever known. Hopefully they tell you stories about him. Because if you grow up to be half the man he was-" She stopped talking as a snarled sob forced its way through her throat.

Harry's confused hands grasped at her shirt, her anguish turning into his as he started to cry softly. She wanted to comfort him. Really, besides having James back, it's all she wanted in the world. But she couldn't. Because it was either a very temporary comfort or she could leave him to his tears and hopefully give him a shot at a long and happy life. It's all she had left to give.

So when the door slammed open she turned slowly, one hand on Harry, keeping him behind her, and the other tightly gripped her wand. She had always been small, but she had never felt smaller as soon stood, the other thing between the most evil wizard ever lived and her son. She was his last line of defense, and she had never felt so inadequate. She looked into the eyes of the man she had previously defied three times, as the lyrical prophecy that threatened her son's life had reminded her. She looked into his eyes, and for the first time she felt genuine fear.

"Step aside, girl. Step aside and I'll let you live."

He was lying. He had to be lying, but what kind of choice was that anyway? Step aside and live without her husband, without her son? "No," she whispered, angry about the tremor in her voice. Her trembling figures tightened around her wand. "This isn't going to come easy," she reminded him. She would do her best to take him out with her, but she was sincerely doubting that she'd be finding a way to escape Voldemort a fourth time. No one had that much luck.

"Don't be stupid girl," he seemed exacerbated. Was he really willing to spare the life of a Mudblood that had been as troublesome as she had? "Just get out of the way. You can walk away from this."

She shook her head frantically, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Not Harry. Please not Harry. Take me instead!"

He sighed. "Gryffindors are so problematic." He waved his wand, and before she even realized what had happened she was sent flying across the room into the brick wall.

She immediately saw stars, her vision blackening around the edges. She couldn't breath. But as soon as she saw Voldemort take a since step toward her son she found the strength to grab her wand, sending the only spell she could think of his way.

He waved his wand at the ropes that were meant to wrap around his body and they fell to the ground in a pile at his feet. "I mean it when I say I expected better of you and your husband, Ms. Potter." He waved his wand for a second time, sending her back against the wall. This time she remained suspended in the air. "To have defied me three times? You're clearly capable in the magical arts. I expected a greater challenge." He sent her into the wall again.

She slid down and onto the floor in a crumpled heap. She blinked a few times and grasped weakly at the hardwood floor. Her mind was screaming at her to get up and fight, to protect Harry. But she can't. She can't think. She can't breath. She can't move.

A pronounced creak next to her ear was the last thing she heard before his foot was on her face, tilting it backwards, testing the lifelessly lull of her head. "It would be so easy for me to crush you right now. I wouldn't even need magic. I could kill you the Muggle way before anyone even got here to help you." She was okay with it. He could take all of the time in the world to kill her, because it would give the Order more time to get here to save Harry.

He pulled his foot away, and with it her last ounce of hope. "But alas, I promised to spare you. And Lord Voldemort keeps his promises to those who are loyal to him."

She was moving steadily toward unconsciousness, but she fought to keep her eyes open, to be there with Harry through all of it. But she couldn't. She even failed at that. Her eyes grew heavy and drifted shut. The last thing she knew was a thump and a muffled shout before she was lost to the blackness.

_Sirius Black_

He lay in his bed, tossing an apple up at the ceiling and catching it over and over again. He was _bored. _Remus was on a mission, and possibly the spy that was slowly ripping away any and every chance at victory they had. Peter was doing his secret keeper duties, and he was pretty sure that consisted of eating Muggle food in front of the telly. And Lily and James were in hiding. For them he was pretty sure that involved setting Harry down for a lot of naps and finding new places to make out in. Because if he was locked up with someone he cared for in that way that was pretty much all he would do to pass the time.

But after he missed the apple for the fifth time and it bounced off of his nose he decided to throw caution to the wind and go check on Peter early. It was his idea to switch Secret Keepers, so he felt like it was his duty to keep Peter safe. He wasn't as close to the small boy as he was to Remus or James, but there still wasn't anything he wouldn't do for him. And that included protecting him with his life.

It wasn't a great idea for him to leave his house in the middle of the day either. He was related to most of the Death Eaters, and they were none to happy that one of their own defected to Dumbledore's side. He knew that his cousins would like nothing more than to wipe him from the face of the Earth. But honestly, he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit to welcoming the same opportunity. The world would be better with fewer Blacks in it.

Peter only lived down the road from him. They had briefly contemplated sharing a flat, but it just wouldn't work. Sirius was better suited living alone, considering his penchant for bringing home ladies from his nights at the pub. And Peter was too tidy for his own good. You wouldn't think it by looking at him, but even the smallest bit of clutter drove him mad.

He knocked on the door waiting for Peter to answer, and when he didn't he grew concerned. "Wormtail! Let me in."

When there's still no answer his concern grows into worry. He should be home. He said he would be home. The rat should know better than to disappear when so many people are counting on him. He was only safe, Prongs and Lily were only safe, as long as he remained in this apartment. He pulled his wand out. "_Alohamora," _he muttered under his breath, shouldering his way into the apartment. "Wormtail, where are you?"

He tore down the hall, looking in every room. But he wasn't there. There wasn't anything out of place, but it didn't change the sinking fear that was settling in the bottom of his stomach. Something was wrong. He had to get to James and Lily.

* * *

><p>Their whole street was protected by an anti-apparation charm. Which was good most of the time, but right now it was so bad. He had to get to them. He considered transforming into his Animagus, but there were too many Muggles around. He tore through the streets, dodging costumed kids until he saw their house.<p>

Nothing looked too out of place except for the door. It was open. It shouldn't be open. _It shouldn't be open._

He ran up the walkway, skidding to a stop in the destroyed living room. His heart nearly stopped as he saw James laying still on the floor. But as he started across the room he heard shouts from upstairs. He wanted to check on his best friend, his **_brother. _**But he knew that James would never forgive him if he wasted a chance to save Lily or Harry.

He took the stairs two at a time, stumbling and tripping his way to Harry's room where the noises were coming from. When he flung the door open it was like time stood still. His eyes passed over Harry, who was sobbing from his crib, and Lily, bleeding and still on the ground. He had time to take all of this in and pull out his wand before Voldemort even had time to turn around. "**_Avada_**_** Kedavra**._"

The green light hit him square in the back, but it didn't happen the way that he thought that it would. He had seen people die by the killing curse before. It was quick. They dropped to the ground immediately. But Voldemort remained standing, a shadow flying from his body and out the window. Glass shattered and rained down on all of them. Then he dropped like he was supposed to.

He didn't bother to contemplate his killing the most evil wizard of all time. There would be time for that later. Sirius only took the time to snag Voldemort's wand from the ground and shoving it in his pocket before dropping on his knees next to Lily. He gently turned her over, wiping some of the blood from her eyes. His fingers found her pulse point, and he sagged in relief when he felt the fragile beating of her heart. She was okay.

He turned to Harry who was sobbing his heart out. He went over and brushed his hair back. "You're alright Harry. And your mum's going to be fine. But hang in there, buddy. I need to go check on your dad."

It literally killed him to turn his back on them, but they were both alive. He had to go check on James. He ran down the stairs, falling down the last two in his hast. But that was okay. He crawled across the room and looked at James' face. Years of pranking, Quidditch, and homework rushing back to him. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't. But it was different with James. He didn't have to feel for a pulse because he saw the steady rise and fall of his chest. He didn't know what had happened down here, but whatever it was it hadn't killed James.

He stood back up. James was alive, Lily was alive, but Harry was probably traumatize. He had to floo Saint Mungo's and Dumbledore. But first he had to get to Harry. But before he could he was distracted by a flurry of movement from the front door.


End file.
